>i vaguely remember putting my name into some vendors’ boxes during harvard square’s mayfair last month…

that would have been just a fading memory, if not for the fact that i just received a call from the boca raton (red flag!) headquarters of sleek medspa. they called to report that i was luckily chosen from the mayfair lottery to get a free consultation and $100 gift certificate at one of their spas. they’re right downtown, and it’s on newbury, so i’m thinking it’s a pretty awesome deal. mmm, spa == massage…

except i check out the website, and i discover i am probably most definitely the wrong age or the wrong ethnicity to use any of their services. *ironic heehee* so here’s the lineup:

laser hair removal: um, i basically have no body hair. i dont even need to shave my legs! [please dont hate me.]
photo facial: this might be nice for evening out skintone, but i imagine it’s a temporary (and addictive) fix as your skin regenerates new cells.
chemical peels microdermabrasion: just thinking about this (probably more intense version of the above) makes my face hurt.
botox: let’s not go here.
vein removal: um… ew…
lip fillers: have you seen my lips?

i doubt it’s superscammy, but i’m sure that the ‘complementary consultation’ will do its very best to convince any woman she needs a million things ‘improved.’

i’m also not sure how far $100 will go here. this article mentions that “on average, prices range from $300 to $3,000.” eep.

another scary writeup can be found here, where the text advertises: “they even have Botox parties to popularize this new form of anti-ageing treatment. In your battle against wrinkles, spots, veins and unwanted hair, Sleek MedSpa is your ally.”

i think a better ally would come in the form of SPF, basic moisturizer, and a healthy diet. glamour is simple.

however, i’ll let you know how the consultation goes. i’m sure it’ll be a lot of ‘yep, we’ve consulted you and honestly, you and your big lips need nothing done here.’ ‘thanks! can i get the $100 in cash instead? or at least a backrub? transferrable to anthropologie? please?’

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3 Responses to “”
  1. Rhonda says:

    >LOL, I haven’t stopped laughing yet [& I’m one who knows about big lips,lol] … gosh, i thought it was about massage but I feel the same way as you do about all that other STUFF. But I guess they need other “sidelines” to keep the business coming in. Let us know who the consultation plays out.

  2. Reese says:

    >the vein removal and lip plumping is freaking me out. i’m off the puffy lipped crew too and don’t understand the allure. in fact, i’m always trying to hide my lips with nude lipsticks, but recently been attempting to use some colour instead.btw, for some reason i’ve been having incredible luck with the word verification today! i haven’t had to retype any of them. i’m not sure why you would care, but i just needed to tell you that. ok now i’m really done.

  3. honeybee33 says:

    >I reserve the right to be freely hatin’ on you for point #1. Just wait till you turn 40 – hair starts growing in places it wasn’t and falling out of places it shouldn’t. When you go in for your consultation, ask them if that hundred bucks is transferable? And remember your lil bee-friend, will ya? ;~)~ hb33 ~http://web.mac.com/honeybee33/

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